Divorce is rarely easy, but when a marriage involves abuse, intimidation, or controlling behavior, the legal and emotional landscape can become significantly more complicated. While many people associate domestic abuse with physical violence, abuse can take many forms. A spouse may manipulate finances, isolate their partner from family and friends, monitor electronic communications, threaten to take the children, or use fear and intimidation to maintain control without ever becoming physically violent.

Colorado family courts recognize that abusive relationships can include acts that do not result in visible injuries. Patterns of coercive or controlling behavior may be relevant in divorce and allocation of parental responsibility (APR) proceedings because they can affect the victim’s safety and the best interests of the children. If you are considering a divorce from an abusive spouse, our Colorado Springs divorce lawyers can work with you to help you understand how these issues may impact your case.

At Ascent Legal Group, our Colorado family law attorneys help clients navigate high-conflict divorces involving allegations of domestic violence, coercive control, child custody disputes, and protection orders. Having experienced legal guidance can make a meaningful difference when your safety, your children, and your future are at stake. Reach out to our law firm today to schedule a free consultation with a Colorado divorce attorney.

What Is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is a legal term covering a wide range of abusive conduct between people in an intimate or family relationship. Contrary to popular belief, it is not limited to physical assault. Colorado law reaches emotional, psychological, financial, and technological abuse, and it treats domestic violence as behavior that often escalates over time.

Under Colorado law, domestic violence includes an act or threatened act of violence against someone with whom the accused shares or has shared an intimate relationship. It also covers other crimes committed as a means of coercion, control, punishment, intimidation, or revenge. Colorado has since broadened this definition to expressly include coercive control and economic abuse, recognizing that abuse frequently takes the form of an ongoing pattern rather than a single violent act. Under that expanded definition, domestic violence reaches conduct such as:

• Isolating a partner from family, friends, or other support
• Monitoring, surveilling, or tracking a partner’s activities
• Controlling access to money, employment, or education
• Degrading treatment intended to erode a partner’s sense of self-worth
• Threats or intimidation that fall short of a criminal assault
• Using the children to monitor, control, or punish a partner

Because coercive control and economic abuse are now part of the statutory definition, conduct that leaves no physical injury can still qualify as domestic violence in a Colorado family law case.

What Is Coercive Control?

Coercive control is often described as a pattern of behavior designed to dominate another person by restricting their independence, freedom, or decision-making. Instead of relying primarily on physical violence, the abusive partner uses manipulation, intimidation, fear, and psychological tactics to gain and maintain power. 

Many victims describe coercive control as “walking on eggshells.” Every decision, from spending money to visiting relatives, may require the abusive partner’s approval. Colorado law used to treat coercive control differently from domestic violence, but it now recognizes coercive control as a form of domestic violence.

Common Examples of Coercive Control

Unlike a single incident of violence, coercive control typically develops gradually. Individual actions may appear minor when viewed in isolation, but together they create an environment where one partner exercises overwhelming control over the other’s daily life. Common examples of coercive control can be found below.

Financial Control

Financial abuse is one of the most common forms of coercive control. An abusive spouse may:

• Take control of all bank accounts
• Prevent their partner from working
• Confiscate paychecks
• Require receipts for every purchase
• Cancel credit cards
• Secretly accumulate debt in the other spouse’s name
• Hide financial information during the marriage

Without financial independence, many victims feel trapped because they believe they cannot afford to leave the relationship.

Emotional and Psychological Abuse

Coercive control frequently involves emotional manipulation rather than physical violence. Examples include:

• Constant criticism
• Public humiliation
• Gaslighting
• Blaming the victim for abusive behavior
• Threatening self-harm to prevent separation
• Repeated verbal degradation
• Manipulation through guilt
• Extreme jealousy

Over time, victims may lose confidence in their own judgment and become increasingly dependent on the abusive partner.

Isolation from Family and Friends

Another hallmark of coercive control is isolation. An abusive spouse may attempt to:

• Prevent contact with relatives
• Discourage friendships
• Monitor social interactions
• Control transportation
• Interfere with employment
• Restrict participation in community or religious activities

Isolation makes it more difficult for victims to seek help or recognize that the relationship has become abusive.

Digital and Technological Abuse

Modern technology has created new opportunities for abusive partners to monitor and control victims. Examples include:

• Reading text messages without permission
• Monitoring emails
• Tracking a spouse’s location through smartphone apps
• Installing spyware
• Demanding passwords
• Controlling social media accounts
• Monitoring smart home devices
• Using GPS tracking devices without consent

As technology evolves, digital abuse has become an increasingly common issue in Colorado divorce cases.

Reproductive Coercion

Another way that an abusive partner can exercise control is through the use of manipulation, intimidation, threats, and/or acts of violence to coerce their spouse into getting pregnant, continuing a pregnancy, or ending a pregnancy against their will. Examples include:

• Pressuring a partner into getting pregnant and/or not using birth control
• Sabotaging birth control
• Demanding that a partner continue a pregnancy
• Insisting that a partner end a pregnancy

Threats Involving Children

Kids are often used as tools of coercion. Examples include threatening to:

• Take the children away
• Report the other parent to authorities
• Interfere with parenting time
• Alienate the children from the other parent
• Make false allegations during custody proceedings

These threats can have significant emotional consequences for both the targeted parent and the children.

Domestic Violence vs. Coercive Control 

Although there is overlap between domestic violence and coercive control, the two concepts are not identical. Domestic violence frequently refers to specific acts of violence, threats, or criminal conduct occurring within an intimate relationship. Coercive control, by contrast, focuses on an ongoing pattern of domination that limits another person’s freedom and autonomy. 

For example, one incident of a partner striking their spouse may be considered domestic violence and may be charged as a crime. On the other hand, years of controlling finances, isolating a spouse from loved ones, monitoring communications, and using intimidation to dictate everyday decisions may demonstrate coercive control even if no physical violence occurs.

In reality, many abusive relationships involve both domestic violence and coercive control. Physical violence may be one tactic used within a broader pattern of coercive and controlling behavior. 

The two terms describe different things (a discrete act or threat versus an ongoing pattern of domination), but under Colorado law, coercive control falls within domestic violence rather than sitting outside it. The presence of domestic violence or coercive control in a relationship may be important in several aspects of a divorce case, including when determining what is in the best interests of the child.

Why Domestic Violence and Coercive Control Matter in a Colorado Divorce

Recognizing abuse in all its forms, whether a single violent act or an ongoing pattern of coercive control, is not simply an academic exercise. It can significantly affect the outcome of your divorce.

Allegations of abuse can impact numerous issues in a divorce case, including:

• Temporary court orders
• Allocation of parental responsibilities
• Parenting time schedules
• Requests for supervised visitation
• Protection orders
• Exclusive use of the marital home
• Communication requirements between parents
• Safety provisions during child exchanges

Because every case is unique, judges carefully evaluate the evidence presented by both parties. They will then make decisions that protect children while preserving each parent’s legal rights.

In recent years, Colorado lawmakers have continued to strengthen protections for victims by clarifying how family courts evaluate domestic violence allegations and by emphasizing the importance of making specific findings when abuse is raised during family law proceedings. These developments underscore the need for thorough documentation and experienced legal representation whenever domestic violence or coercive control is an issue in a divorce.

How Domestic Violence and Coercive Control Can Affect a Colorado Divorce

When allegations of domestic violence or coercive control arise during a divorce, they can influence nearly every aspect of the case. Colorado courts strive to reach fair outcomes while protecting the safety and well-being of spouses and children. Depending on the circumstances, abusive behavior may affect temporary orders, parenting arrangements, financial issues, and the overall course of the litigation.

Because every family is different, there is no guaranteed outcome whenever abuse is alleged. Instead, the court examines the available evidence and determines what orders are appropriate under Colorado law.

Temporary Orders

Early in a divorce, either spouse may request temporary orders that remain in effect while the case is pending. These orders can address issues such as:

• Temporary parenting schedules
• Temporary child support
• Temporary spousal maintenance
• Exclusive possession of the marital home
• Payment of household expenses
• Restrictions on transferring assets

When abuse is an issue, temporary orders often play an important role in establishing financial and physical safety while the divorce is ongoing.

Property Division

Colorado follows the principle of equitable distribution, which means that marital property is divided fairly rather than automatically divided equally. Domestic violence alone does not necessarily determine how property is divided. However, abusive conduct may be relevant in certain situations, particularly when it involves financial misconduct.

Examples may include:

• Hiding marital assets
• Destroying property
• Emptying joint accounts
• Incurring excessive debt to harm the other spouse
• Preventing a spouse from accessing marital funds
• Concealing investment accounts

When financial abuse is used as a tool of coercive control, it may become an important issue during property division. A court will consider various factors when deciding how to divide marital property equitably, which may include evaluating abuse within the relationship.

Spousal Maintenance

In 2025, Colorado passed a law that allows courts to consider domestic violence when determining spousal maintenance. The law requires family court judges to consider whether a spouse has engaged in domestic violence, coercive control, economic abuse, litigation abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, or unlawful sexual behavior against the other spouse when deciding spousal maintenance.

This law does not require a criminal conviction for a judge to consider these allegations when deciding on spousal maintenance. In other words, acts of coercive control and domestic violence that do not result in criminal charges may become relevant when it comes to alimony decisions. 

Importantly, this new law does not require courts to automatically award spousal maintenance to a spouse who was abused or to deny spousal maintenance to a spouse who was abusive. Instead, it is one of many factors that will be contemplated by a judge before issuing a decision on alimony.

Allocation of Parental Responsibilities

One of the most significant ways domestic violence can affect a divorce is through decisions involving children. Colorado uses the term allocation of parental responsibilities, which includes both decision-making authority and parenting time. When deciding on the allocation of parental responsibilities, judges are guided by one overarching principle: the best interests of the child. 

If evidence shows that domestic violence has occurred, the court may consider:

• Whether a parent has committed acts of domestic violence against the other parent or the child
• Whether the child witnessed abusive behavior
• The emotional impact of the abuse on the child
• Whether either parent attempted to control or intimidate the other through the children
• The likelihood that abusive behavior may continue
• Each parent’s ability to encourage a healthy relationship between the child and the other parent when it is safe to do so

Recent updates to Colorado law further emphasize that courts should make findings on the record regarding domestic violence allegations when appropriate, recognizing that abusive conduct may extend beyond criminal convictions or physical assaults. The court’s primary objective is to create parenting arrangements that promote the child’s safety, stability, and long-term well-being.

If there are credible concerns about abuse, parenting time may be modified to address safety concerns. Depending on the facts of the case, the court may order supervised parenting time, neutral exchange locations, restrictions on overnight visits, limited communication between parents, or other safeguards tailored to the family’s circumstances. These decisions are highly fact-specific and are intended to balance a child’s relationship with both parents while minimizing potential risks.

Protection Orders

Many victims of domestic violence seek legal protection before or during divorce proceedings. Colorado courts can issue protection orders designed to help safeguard individuals from further abuse or harassment. 

A protection order may:

• Prohibit contact between parties
• Require one spouse to leave the marital residence
• Restrict communication
• Address firearm restrictions
• Establish temporary parenting provisions
• Protect children when appropriate

A protection order is separate from the divorce itself, although the two proceedings often overlap. If a protection order is already in place, it may affect how the divorce proceeds and how parenting exchanges are handled.

Proving Coercive Control in a Colorado Divorce Case

In many situations involving domestic violence, there is proof of the abuse. However, unlike physical abuse, coercive control often leaves no visible injuries. Proving a pattern of abusive behavior frequently involves assembling multiple pieces of evidence that together demonstrate ongoing intimidation or manipulation.

Potential evidence may include:

• Text messages
• Emails
• Voicemails
• Social media communications
• Financial statements
• Credit card records
• Bank records
• Screenshots
• Calendar entries
• GPS or location data
• Photographs
• Witness testimony
• Employment records
• Medical records
• Counseling records
• Police reports
• Protection orders
• School records involving the children

In many cases, no single document will tell the whole story. Instead, a consistent pattern may emerge from multiple sources. This can provide the strongest evidence of coercive control.

What to Do If You’re Experiencing Domestic Violence or Coercive Control During Divorce

Leaving an abusive relationship is often one of the most difficult and dangerous periods for a victim. While every situation is different, taking thoughtful steps to protect yourself and your children can help you prepare for the divorce process and any related legal proceedings.

If you are in immediate danger, call 911 or seek other emergency assistance. For ongoing concerns, consider speaking with an experienced Colorado family law attorney who can explain your legal options and help you develop a strategy that prioritizes your safety. There are several steps you can take to work towards escaping your situation. 

1) Prioritize Your Safety

If possible, develop a safety plan before informing your spouse that you intend to file for divorce. This may include identifying a safe place to stay, arranging transportation, and sharing your plans with trusted family members or friends. A local domestic violence organization can help you put together a safety plan in place.

2) Preserve Important Documents

Before or during a divorce, gather copies of important documents whenever it is safe and lawful to do so, including:

• Tax returns
• Bank statements
• Retirement account statements
• Mortgage information
• Insurance policies
• Vehicle titles
• Birth certificates
• Passports
• Pay stubs
• Investment account records

Having these documents readily available can simplify the divorce process and help your attorney understand your financial situation.

3) Save Digital Evidence

In many coercive control cases, electronic communications become important evidence. Consider preserving:

• Text messages
• Emails
• Voicemails
• Social media messages
• Screenshots
• Call logs
• Photographs
• Financial records

Avoid altering or deleting communications, and discuss the best way to preserve evidence with your attorney.

4) Avoid Escalating Confrontations

Every situation is unique, but many victims find it safer to communicate through attorneys or other approved channels once divorce proceedings begin. If court orders restrict communication, be sure to follow them carefully.

5) Seek Emotional Support

Divorce involving abuse can take a significant emotional toll. Support may come from trusted family members, close friends, licensed mental health professionals, support groups, and community organizations. Building a support network can make the legal process less overwhelming while helping you focus on long-term recovery.

How Ascent Legal Group Can Help

Domestic violence and coercive control are not always easy to recognize, particularly when abuse occurs through intimidation, financial manipulation, emotional degradation, or ongoing psychological control rather than physical violence. Colorado family courts increasingly recognize that patterns of abusive behavior can significantly affect divorce and parenting proceedings. Our experienced Colorado Springs family law attorneys can help you better understand your options and protect your rights throughout the process.

At Ascent Legal Group, we understand the complexities and challenges that can arise in a divorce case that involves any type of abuse. We offer skilled, compassionate legal representation to clients in Colorado family law matters. Contact our law offices today at 719-256-0067 or fill out our online contact form to schedule a free 30-minute consultation with a Colorado Springs divorce lawyer or licensed legal paraprofessional (LLP).

Frequently Asked Questions

Is Coercive Control Considered Domestic Violence in Colorado?

Yes, coercive control is included in the definition of domestic violence under § 18-6-800.3. So, Colorado law considers coercive control to be a form of domestic violence.  

Can Emotional Abuse Affect Child Custody in Colorado?

Yes. Although every case is decided on its own facts, evidence of emotional abuse or coercive behavior may be relevant when a judge determines the child’s best interests. This can then impact how decision-making authority and parenting time are shared between parents.

Do I Need a Criminal Conviction to Raise Domestic Violence Issues During My Divorce?

No. Conduct that does not result in criminal charges may still be relevant when deciding issues involving parenting, protection orders, alimony, and other aspects of a divorce. If your spouse has not been charged with or convicted of domestic violence, it is important to gather evidence to support your allegations of abuse.

What If I Am Falsely Accused of Domestic Violence in My Colorado Divorce Case?

False allegations of abuse can and do happen. If your soon-to-be ex accuses you of domestic violence or coercive control, it can have a major impact on your divorce. Having legal representation is key in these situations. A Colorado Springs divorce lawyer can gather evidence and present arguments to disprove allegations of abuse and protect your rights.

Resources:

• Colorado Revised Statutes § 18-6-800.3. Justia. https://law.justia.com/codes/colorado/title-18/article-6/part-8/section-18-6-800-3/
• How to Recognize Coercive Control. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/coercive-control
• Spousal Maintenance Guidelines. Colorado General Assembly. https://leg.colorado.gov/bills/sb25-116